Didn't I Say That Already?

What part of _______________________ did you not understand?

Putting the Empty Box Back on the Shelf

Was there a particular reason we're saving the empty box of cereal?

Using the Maximum Strength Glue on the Price Tag

I see you're worried that someone might accidentally swap the tag on this over-priced good for one not as over-priced.

But now I've bought it, and there's this sticky spot on my cocktail glasses that makes it look like I shop at the dollar store.

Did I mention it's sticky?

Less Than Absorbent Towels

Towels have a purpose: to dry things. If the towel doesn't absorb liquids, I might as well just use it to wipe my ass.

Consuming Mass Quantities

Was there a reason we have six containers of Philadelphia Low-Fat Cream Cheese with Chives?

Don't Even Bother

Admit that you are unable to load a dishwasher without pissing me off, and just leave the dishes neatly stacked on the counter.

No, not in the sink: on the counter.

Oh, come on, just stack them. Didn't your parents buy you any stacking toys when you were a child?

Closing the Lid

Due to height limits on the refrigerator shelves, it is acceptable to store containers of liquids on their side -- provided that the lid is completely sealed.