Upside-Down Ice Cream Cake

I love your ingenuity in using temperature variations to create an upside-down ice cream cake that looks like a funnel, but I'd rather not have to clean the freezer again.

Put the lid on tightly.

Put the container in the freezer with the lid side facing up. That's called the top of the container. The opposite side, called the bottom, is what faces down.

Oh, and down is in the direction of your feet.

Consuming Mass Quantities

Was there a reason we have six containers of Philadelphia Low-Fat Cream Cheese with Chives?

Closing the Lid

Due to height limits on the refrigerator shelves, it is acceptable to store containers of liquids on their side -- provided that the lid is completely sealed.

Spills Left to Stand

The spill itself is not so bad. But leaving it on the floor, and forgetting to tell anyone about it, so that it soaks into the wood, the carpet, and my socks? That's not good at all.

Emptying the Bottle of Shampoo

I understand that you're three, and like bubbles, but did you really need to dump the whole bottle of shampoo in the tub?

Leaky Faucets

You left the bathroom water dripping Sylvia
Into the sink it's drip, drip, dripping Sylvia
It's so annoying all that dripping Sylvia
Go turn the water off and stop the drip, drip, dripping Sylvia

The bathroom sink is overflowing Sylvia
Because the dripping keeps on going Sylvia
It will not stop the drip and drop we'll need a mop
Go turn the water off and stop the drip, drip, dripping Sylvia

Oh Sylvia the situation's such a pain
The water keeps on dripping and the problem here is very plain
The drops won't all fit down the drain

The house is getting irrigated Sylvia
And I am getting irritated Sylvia
I see it pour down on the floor and out the door
Go turn the water off and stop the drip, drip, dripping Sylvia

The water's running down the street oh Sylvia
It's soaking everybody's feet oh Sylvia
The mess you're making is complete so Sylvia
Go turn the water off and stop the drip, drip, dripping Sylvia

The city's flooded it's all wet dear Sylvia
The citizen's are quite upset here Sylvia
The future's grim our chances slim we'll have to swim,
Please turn the water off and stop the drip, drip, dripping Sylvia

Oh Sylvia the situation's looking dark
The water keeps on dripping our new next door neighbor is a shark
We better call up Noah's ark

The whole wide world is underwater Sylvia
I just ran into Neptune's daughter Sylvia
And all the fish go splash and splish I really wish
You'd turn the water off and stop the drip, drip, dripping Sylvia

Lyrics: Richard Perlmutter
Music: Pizzicato from the Ballet Sylvia by Delibes
© 2002 Radio Play Music, ASCAP

Half of a Container

We just bought these containers yesterday. How is it that there are no tops?

Books in the Trash

That's just wrong.

Brown Playdoh

It didn't start out brown; it only became brown after you squished all the colors together.

I suppose now you'll be wanting some red and white so you can make pink.

Banks

Paper, considered as a material whereof to make money, has none of the requisite qualities in it. It is too plentiful, and too easily come at. It can be had anywhere, and for a trifle.

If we are to make money of the leaves of trees, why let only a few have that power? Perhaps we can just use the leaves of trees.

Sticky

Did you really need to use so much maple syrup? Your pancakes are swimming in it! And it's all over the backs of the chairs and the table! Gah! How did you manage to do that?!