Putting the Empty Box Back on the Shelf

Was there a particular reason we're saving the empty box of cereal?

Don't Even Bother

Admit that you are unable to load a dishwasher without pissing me off, and just leave the dishes neatly stacked on the counter.

No, not in the sink: on the counter.

Oh, come on, just stack them. Didn't your parents buy you any stacking toys when you were a child?

Parking in the Path of Least Resistance

Parking your bike right in front of the door, and dropping your bags right inside the door are not acceptable, and constitute a hazard to your health -- as soon as I can figure out which one of you did it.

Inappropriate Toilet Usage

The toilet is for waste matter, in liquid or solid form, resulting from consumption of food and beverages. Other liquids, such as water, may be disposed of in the toilet if they will not harm the septic or sewer systems.

It is not for Popsicle sticks, Legos, golfballs, baseballs, small furry animals*, G. I. Joe, dust bunnies, or the giant pile of hair recently pulled from your brush.



* goldfish are permitted

Half of a Container

We just bought these containers yesterday. How is it that there are no tops?

Shared Printers

Don't just leave the printed output on the table next to the printer, jackass: Put it with the rest of my printouts. And if you're going to bother using the sorter on the wall, take a few seconds more to actually sort it.

Didn't you guys learn how to sort in kindergarten?

Using the Top of the Clothes Dryer for Storage

While I have a penchant for covering every horizontal surface with piles, some surfaces have specific roles. The space next to the sink, for example, is for dishes. The space on top of the dryer is for folding the clean clothes.

Liquids in the Garbage Can

OK, who dumped their orange juice in the trash?

Failure to Sort the Utensils

The knives go in the knife slot. The teaspoons go in the teaspoon slot. The tablespoons go in the tablespoon slot. The dinner forks go in the dinner fork slot. Guess where the salad forks go.

Anyone Else Loading the Dishwasher

Is it really so difficult to follow a pattern?

Leaving Dishes in the Sink

Please place the unwashed dishes neatly in stacks alongside the sink, not in it. Dishes permissible in the sink are large pots, which themselves can substitute for the sink when washing.

When Someone Else Moves the Things I Set Down

It was just a temporary place. It's not in the permanent place. And now I can't find it.

Jumbled Pots and Pans

The small pot goes inside the medium pot which goes inside the large pot. The frying pans stack the same way. Why is the large, steel frying pan in between the small and medium cast iron pans?

Drawers That Don't Close

Don't keep shoving the drawer closed. There's a reason it's not closing; find it, put the misplaced item back, and stop over-loading the drawer.

Food in the Room with the Toilet

Don't shit where you eat.

Cold Dishwater

You want me to put my hand in that?

Wet Dishrags Left in the Sink

They're cold and wet, and must be removed from the sink so they can dry out.